Where is My Abundance?

In Abundant, All by Barbara Wilder1 Comment

Have you ever felt like just screaming that to the universe? Or maybe crying it into your pillow at night? “Where is my abundance?” Do you look around you and see others with so much more than you have and wonder, why not me? Have you taken webinar after webinar about getting your abundance and still not seen lasting positive results? Well, you are not alone. You may feel like you’re alone. You may even feel shameful, that you don’t have as much as others, and think that it’s because you just aren’t doing “it” right.

One of the things that most prosperity programs teach is to give so that you can receive. Many women, myself included, hear this and say, give? Really? I give all the time. I’m a consummate giver. I give to my children, my partner, my job, my aging parents. I don’t think I can give much more. And if you are in one of the healing professions you give enormous amounts. And you may even find yourself feeling guilty that you still aren’t giving enough.

Because so many women I know take class after class and give and give and give, and still don’t seem to receive anywhere close to the amount that that they are giving, I decided there had to be another answer. And it suddenly occurred to me that this “Giving” lesson is gender specific. All of the original prosperity programs that most of our current programs are derived from were created by men for men a hundred years ago. And it is true that when men, and some women give more, they do receive more. But I don’t see it working well on a large scale for women. So, why not?

I started thinking about this a lot. And then one day I pulled an oracle card. The heading on the card was “Giving and Receiving.” But then directly under those words was a short description, which said, “With every inhalation there must be an exhalation.” And there it was, my answer. With breath, you must inhale before you can exhale. You can’t just go around breathing out constantly without breathing in first. Right? Because you have no breath to breathe out if you haven’t inhaled. You haven’t anything to give if you haven’t received anything, so that you can give. When the baby is born, it doesn’t just exhale. It inhales a great big gulp of air and then lets it out, usually with a howl. And that begins the normal in and out breathing that will continue for the rest of her life.

So, we begin our lives with an inhale. But somewhere along the line we learn this one really interesting thing. It’s an old saying, from the Christian Bible, actually, but one that is a powerful part of our cultural subconscious belief system. That saying is, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Ah hah! I said to myself. Of course. This giving thing is a pretty old concept. Like at least two thousand years old. And when it was written it was for men to learn, because until very recently everything was written for men to read and learn from. And it was just assumed that anything that is good for men would naturally be good for women.

And just look at the phrase. It’s such a guy thing. It’s always a competition. “It is MORE blessed to give than to receive.” But it can’t be a competition. Because you can’t have a giver without a receiver. And you can’t have a receiver without a giver. There’s no ‘that’s better than the other.” So, this old saying that is firmly locked into our collective subconscious just isn’t true.

And when I looked at this seemingly innocuous phrase, it occurred to me that if it is more blessed to give than to receive, then it must follow logically that the giver is blessed. And that’s a lovely thing. It is good to give if we are truly giving from our hearts. The problem lies in what happens in the minds and hearts of the receivers. If it is MORE blessed to Give than to Receive, then the logical next belief is that the receiver is LESS blessed, or even, not blessed at all. And herein lies the problem. Because though it’s not stated, this idea is imbedded in our subconscious. Thus, no matter how much we are taught that if we give from our hearts we will receive, the very idea of receiving has this stigma attached to it. Because it is not blessed, and because it is better to be a giver, it follows that the receiver is less than or smaller than the giver. And no one wants to be that.

But women are natural receivers. Our physical bodies are created to receive. We have wombs that receive seeds that men give us, which we then fertilize, and nurture and grow into real live human beings. So, giving and receiving are just naturally different at the most basic level of life for women and men. And they are both equally as blessed or important or necessary. There is not one that is better than the other. But this has been forgotten in the topsy-turvy duality world in which Eve was created from Adams rib by a great big male god in the sky.

Truth is, we live in an abundant universe. There is more than enough to go around for all of us. But old belief systems like this one, keep us separated from this fact. Like the air that the newborn baby inhales, abundance is all around us to inhale and receive into our lives. We have lived way too long in the out of balance world that functions on the false belief that there is a finite amount of abundance in the world, and we all have to fight and even die for our piece of the limited pie. The balance of giving and receiving is an integral piece of the emerging new era of unity. Balance in and of itself deletes the scarcity belief system, thus freeing abundance to flow freely throughout the world.

It is imperative that we learn to honor our part as receivers in this balanced cycle of life. To do this we have to acknowledge, first within ourselves, that the feminine aspect of receiving, and its attendant virtues such as nurturing, loving, caring, and healing, are awesome and necessary. It’s time to let go of the belief that we have to learn to give more and get into the real work of learning how to open up and receive more.

This will take some concerted effort. The old belief is deeply ingrained in our subconscious. We will have to retrain our brains and then our hearts to feel comfortable and joyful and safe enough to receive. So, our task is to nurture and heal the wound in our hearts that was created by living as the less blessed for two thousand years, and embrace the joy of being blessed receivers.

Breathe in. Allow in your abundance. Think of all that you can do with the abundance that you are preparing to receive. Will you nurture and grow a business, create art, open a yoga studio, write a book, open a daycare center, plant a garden, raise children? The list is endless.

The world needs your gifts. You are a woman filled with the ability to create and nurture wonderful things. But you are not a man. We weren’t created to do things like men. Our part in the perfectly balanced circle of life is to open our hearts to receive from the abundant universe and then fertilize, nurture and love our heart’s desires into reality.

“It is equally blessed to receive and to give.” Make it your mantra. Say it many times a day until it becomes your new default mode.

The new era of unity is being created more by our thoughts and feelings and the shifting of energy than by the more dynamic actions of the era of duality that we are currently transforming out of. So, when you ask now, “Where’s my abundance?” you can say, it’s all around me, and I allow myself to receive it, because it is blessed to receive.

Copyright © by Barbara Wilder, 2016 for Zen Woman’s “Be Abundant”



barbarawilderBarbara Wilder

Barbara is an internationally acclaimed author, speaker, teacher, and healer. In her groundbreaking book, Money Is Love, she showed us how to reconnect money to the sacred feminine and transform it into an agent for both personal and global prosperity. Her second book,Embracing Your Power Woman, is a radical program that gives women in the second half of life the skills to recognize, embrace, and embody their innate feminine power.